Decameron: Clap Back [VI/3]
The calls to home had become more frequent, but less happened each and every time. Rather than trips to be planned or events to be had, conversations with mom were mostly about dinners made and shows binged. The launch of HBO Max was the single most momentous conversational event in quite some time. That is, until June 3.
“Well, we signed up for the hello delivery thing, but they never get the good pork chops I like so we’re going to have to see about that next time,” said Mom.
“Oh, you should see if the A&P has their own delivery thing,” he said. “Also try Mercato they’re pretty good but I don’t know if they’re down by you yet.”
“I’ll try that. Oh, thanks for recommending Ozark, your dad and I love it.”
“Right, yeah, been meaning to watch it, seemed up your alley though. How is dad?”
“He’s fine,” said mom, “just the normal stuff, he’s been trying to get out in the yard more, doing exercise on the bike upstairs, still dealing with getting owned on the internet by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, nothing new.”
“What was that last bit?”
“The exercise bike, the pelato, whatever you call it?” she asked. “It’s the —”
“AOC?”
“Oh, yeah, your father was talking a bunch of shit on the internet and getting all up in her mentions, and eventually she clapped back on his ass with a quote RT just ripping him to shreds. She dunked on him so hard he locked his account and all of his friends from the club are just avoiding him, so thoroughly did she smite him, and in public no less. All the blue checks then got in on it — someone even went through his likes and found him being too horny on main — and it even hit trending in a few areas. The Daily Dot wrote it up.”
“Ah. Well. That’s something?”
“Oh! We ordered in from Retro’s tonight and we’re having ravioli! I’ll send you a pic.”
Decameron is a newsletter recounting the 14th Century set of quarantine tales for 2020. Read the original story.
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