Decameron: Everything's Going Great [II/8]
The siblings agreed: if they let their father know anything was amiss in their lives, he’d want to come over to help them. He loved nothing more than stopping by for a visit to help his children and then boasting good naturedly about how badly they needed him.
And they desperately needed him to stay home.
“Everything’s going great here, Dad!” Jeanette told him over the phone, as she strained to fix her broken screen door, one-handed. “Don’t need help with a thing!”
“What was that clattering noise just now?” George asked, on the other end of the line.
“Video... game…” she grunted, “...sound… effects.”
“Everything’s awesome over here,” Perry texted his father, as he looked down grimly at his broken toilet, plunger in hand. “Living the socially distant dream.”
“Sure you don’t need a hand with anything?” George texted back, plaintive.
“All good, my man,” Perry typed back. He paused, and then for good measure added: “😎😎😎.”
They realized their mistake at the weekly family Zoom.
“I’m thinking of going out to buy groceries for myself this week,” George dropped offhandedly, halfway through the meal.
“What?!” squawked Jeanette, as at the same time Perry yelped, “Why?!”
“We’ll pay for delivery or bring some by, Dad,” Jeanette soothed. “Just like we have been.” She smiled at him, nervous and encouraging. “You don’t need to help with anything.”
“My children are both so talented,” George said after a beat, his voice was uncharacteristically quiet. “You don’t need me for anything. I’d just like to do something useful.”
Both of the kids were silent for a moment, and looked guiltily at each others’ Zoom squares.
Jeanette spoke first: “To be honest, Dad… it hasn’t been all that great. I’ve been having a hard time concentrating on work, and I end up playing Animal Crossing all day, instead of getting the things I need to get done finished.”
Perry chimed in: “I’ve been stress cleaning like crazy, man. I just lose myself for an hour in it. When I’m not doing that, I’m just scrolling the news mindlessly, letting it all wash over me.”
Jeanette smiled at her brother. “It feels good to talk about, I guess. All the ways things are hard.”
“Yeah,” Perry agreed. His voice cracked a little. “Dad, to be honest, getting this out there... it’s really helpfu—“”
“OH?” George cut in, victorious. “YOU’VE BEEN HELPED? BY MEEE??” He was still chortling when they both groaned loudly and hung up on him.
George reached for his phone. He could gloat over text.
Decameron is a newsletter recounting the 14th Century set of quarantine tales for 2020. Read the original story.
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