Decameron: In Regard of a Horrid Dreame [IV/6]
Two ghostly spirits of ill-tidings stand around a water cooler.
GHOST 1
Times are tough, man.
GHOST 2
You said it.
GHOST 1
As if our job wasn’t hard enough already. (It sighs.) You know that couple I was telling you about? The one I was going to send some really spooky dreams to?
GHOST 2
Yeah?
GHOST 1
I put all this work into it. First, I gave her a dream where a shadow demon comes up behind her husband and puts a grotesque, clawed hand on his shoulder, and pulls him into the abyss of the underworld.
GHOST 2
Nice, nice.
GHOST 1
Same night, I gave him a dream where he’s in a forest, gets entranced by a beguiling fairy and then, right when he’s feeling pretty good, he gets mauled terribly by a vicious greyhound.
GHOST 2
Ooh. (Makes the “chef kissing fingers” gesture).
GHOST 1
Yeah, I thought so, right? I put so much effort into making the dreams truly terrible. Just, like, synced up nightmares? They should freak. It’s obviously a portent of some bad news coming their way.
GHOST 2
Obviously.
GHOST 1
But get this: They didn’t notice anything!
GHOST 2
No!
GHOST 1
They barely said anything about them! The only thing I got was a, “Ha, these pandemic dreams are really something, huh?” from the wife over breakfast.
GHOST 2
Ouch.
GHOST 1
Then her husband chimes in with, “At least they’re not as bad as when this all started.” Not as bad? My bloodthirsty greyhound mauling? Not as bad as what?
GHOST 2
Brutal, bro. I hear ya. You hear about Greg? Just last week he was trying to scare this grandma by hovering outside her window with a pale, ghastly, distorted visage?
GHOST 1
A classic.
GHOST 2
Lady turns, looks straight at him, and says, “Thank you for wearing a mask, young man!”
GHOST 1
(Sad head shake.)
Decameron is a newsletter recounting the 14th Century set of quarantine tales for 2020. Read the original story.
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