Decameron: The Chicken Marchioness recipe [I/5]
Week Two Chicken
Time to cook: 20 minutes
Prep time: 40 minutes
Background
This chicken recipe is simple, versatile, and basically your only game in town!
So, you’ve stocked up for isolation. First day, we all know you did it, you made the Alison Roman dutch oven chicken. Extravagant, sure, but very grammable. There were dates! Dates. You didn’t even know what dates looked like in the aisle. You put shallots in this recipe. It got seventy likes. In this economy, that’s something. A terrific dish.
Next up, you made those Chrissy Teigen prosciutto-wrapped chicken thighs, you know the ones, with the feta cheese and the garlic and the herbs stuffed in them. Those lasted a while, and my god were they good. They were luminescent with the Hudson filter and tasted like dinner at a farm in Normandy. Good recipe. No: great recipe.
This recipe is something different. We’re going to work with what we got.
Ingredients
3 ½ to 4 lb chicken. If you threw out the packaging and didn’t make a note of the weight and don’t want to dig through the trash like an animal: 1 chicken.
It can also just be thighs left over from the Tiegan recipe. That’s fine too.
2 cloves of garlic
1 Shallot, chopped. If you’re out of shallots, substitute a yellow onion. If you’re out of yellow onions, substitute the half of the red onion in the crisper. If that’s too gross and dry, substitute another 3 cloves of garlic. If you’re out of garlic, substitute just pouring in some garlic powder.
2 San Marzano Tomatoes. Substitute normal tomato if out. If out of that, substitute 1 can of peeled tomatoes. If out of that, substitute the can of Rotel you have left over from the Super Bowl
Oregano
Thyme
Rosemary
Basil
Alright you definitely have to have Oregano? No? Good god. Ok literally anything green in your spice cabinet.
No, not Dill.
No, not tea either.
Kosher Sea Salt and fresh Ground White Pepper.
Fine. Table salt and black pepper.
Seven packets of salt and pepper taken from extra takeout utensils in your silverware drawer? Can you meet me there?
Extra Virgin First Pressed Imported Fuck this, I’m not even gonna try anymore, literally any oil in your house. Your coconut oil moisturizer will do in a pinch, jesus.
First, prepare your dutch oven. If your dutch oven is soaking in your sink, taunting you because you can’t wash it with soap, use a pan. If your pan is also dirty, use a cookie sheet. Or, no mess, just use the Reynolds wrap in the cabinet.
Shove anything that grew out of the ground into or near the bird. Grease tin foil. Spice to taste or best of your ability. Cook for 20 minutes at 450 and then 40 minutes at 350.
Or just 60 minutes at 375. Not like Ted Allen’s gonna drop in and tell you he would have prefered a bit of crisp, he’s probably on a villa in France eating the Teigen recipe because he remembered to go to the god damned Stop & Shop, Derek.
Pairs well with any of the thirty bottles of wine you purchased the minute you heard this could go left.