Decameron: Cheat, The Decameron Way [VII/8]
Rhymes to Help You Remember How to Cheat on Your Partner in the Style of Bocaccio’s Decameron Day 7 Story 8
Put a string around her toe? From then on, you’re good to go.
Give a pull down on her feet. She pulls back? It’s time to meet.
Pull the string, get no reply? Means the husband is nearby.
String pulls back, but it’s her spouse? Time to sprint out of the house.
Husband gone to chase your boo? Pay your maid to pretend to be you.
Husband comes back and beats up the maid? Whoa, whoa, hold on.
Then he leaves to get your fam? Let’s go back to the part where he beat up the maid. This is one of those cases where we shouldn’t pull a trick using our wits, embarrass him, and then stay married to him. We should call the authorities.
He comes back and sees you’re fine? Yeah, but the maid isn’t. You can’t possibly be paying her enough for this.
Family thinks that he’s a fool? A̶t̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶s̶t̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶m̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶u̶s̶t̶a̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶e̶r̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶j̶u̶r̶i̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶’̶v̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶v̶o̶i̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶p̶u̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶u̶n̶g̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶g̶u̶i̶l̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶r̶e̶m̶u̶n̶e̶r̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶.̶…………………………………... pretty cool B-)
Decameron is a newsletter recounting the 14th Century set of quarantine tales for 2020. Read the original story.
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