Decameron: Would Buy From Again [VII/2]
Peronella, this is awful. Truly awful. I’m not sure I have the words to capture just how ashamed I am. I thought I knew the kind of person you were, but now… Now, I’m just not so sure anymore.
To think, you would force a prospective buyer of our Ikea KLEPPSTAD armoire to inspect it himself for damage, instead of doing a thorough audit yourself! Where is your sense of dignity as a Craigslist vendor? Where is your pride?
When we sell on Craigslist, it is our responsibility as SELLERS to do a rigorous job identifying and reporting issues with the product for prospective buyers. This is how we make sure we’re setting a fair and equitable price. This is what builds up our buyer’s confidence that they’ll be getting a good return on their investment. This is CRUCIAL.
Now, I know I wasn’t involved in making the Craigslist post (I didn’t even know you were planning on selling our KLEPPSTAD), but I would have thought I wouldn’t need to be. I would have expected you to take a number of photos of the armoire — with the contents emptied out! — and to have accurately and honestly reported the condition of the furniture.
Based on the fact that there are still all our belongings in this KLEPPSTAD, I have no such faith you took these photos and did this careful inventory. I fear you may have simply posted a brief text description of the unit and left it at that, forcing this man— our potential customer— to look it over himself. For shame, Peronella, for shame.
And to do such a thing with this customer is clearly so indigent that he owns no clothes. Think of the indignity he must have experienced when he had to come here naked. Why, he’s probably saved for months to be able to afford a KLEPPSTAD of his very own! This is a very special day for him, and you’ve tarnished it by making him inspect the KLEPPSTAD himself, full of our stuff, instead of doing your duty as an Internet purveyor of home goods.
Now sir, please excuse me, but I insist that I be the one to inspect the KLEPPSTAD. I will stay in here and document every flaw I find with it faithfully. I apologize, deeply, for my wife. Peronella, you stay out here and do whatever it takes to keep him happy.
Decameron is a newsletter recounting the 14th Century set of quarantine tales for 2020. Read the original story.
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